It’s day one back to work for me. Because I am an entrepreneur, I make my own schedule, answer my own emails, find my own clients, and am in charge of well, everything. Because of this, I am a huge planner. I’m talking color-coordinating blocks of time down to the minute with a backup notebook planner in case Google Calendar ever crashes. To start my new work year off right, I decided to give my workspace some extra good vibes and lit some candles and turned on worship music. My perfect planning scene was set. I For the past few weeks I have been seeking God’s vision for my business and projects and have been awaiting this day to just plan it all out and bathe in the possibilities of what God might do. However, didn’t feel as warm and fuzzy as I had hoped. My task today was to make my schedule for the next month, because that’s just how my job works best. As I color-coordinated my life into little blocks though, my mood went out the window. My calendar looked like a rainbow threw up on it and I was already feeling overwhelmed…
And I wasn’t even past the planning stage yet. I mean, the planning part is supposed to be the easy/fun part, right? Our pastor last week gave a sermon on dreaming, and something he said has stuck with me: Dreams are in our heart, but the present is in our hand. Dreaming is the fun part because it’s all in your imagination. In your dreams, you can imagine how well something could go, how good you would look, how awesome it would make you feel… But today, my dreams felt heavy.
So naturally, to boost my spirit, I got on Pinterest.
And if you didn’t know, God can even show on up on Pinterest, because one of the first images that popped up had my word for the year on it: FAITH. I clicked to read it, and it said,
Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen.
Everything I had been wrestling with–my thoughts and emotions– suddenly made more sense. In essence, God showed me that I was working my dreams with my own hands and already getting tired. I entered into my new year rip-snorting-and-raring-to-go with my fighting gloves on, only to remember that I’m not big enough to actually handle everything he has called my heart to want to do. Sure, I have skill. I have technique, knowledge, support. But I was missing the most important thing– faith.
The present is in our hand, but dreams are in our hearts. My dreams are directly correlated with my faith, because a dream is something you hope for, but can’t necessarily guarantee will happen. We’ve all heard the you-go-girl mottos of “your dreams don’t work unless you do,” and I’m hoping those haven’t become more cemented in my head than the idea of faith. Do I want to bet the weight of my dreams on my abilities, or on the faith by which God can provide supernaturally?
The reality I’ve come to today is that I can color-coordinate my little butt off all I want, but if I don’t believe that God is working right alongside me through my faith that he is going to come through and provide, I’m limited. Very limited. And moreover, I’m going to wear myself out before I even make the first lap trying to get my goals off the ground.
When I lean into faith rather than trying to incorporate one more unnecessary strategy into my game, I can breathe. I can rest knowing that I provided what I could, and God will fulfill what I can’t.
